


Hats

by neveralarch



Series: Best_enemies comment fic [14]
Category: Doctor Who (1963)
Genre: Comment Fic, Community: best_enemies, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-09-29
Updated: 2010-09-29
Packaged: 2017-10-24 04:04:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/258806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neveralarch/pseuds/neveralarch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A short fic about the Master's hat.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hats

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by [this photo](http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_KTJWhtuRLac/SrVEZycfNTI/AAAAAAAAIcA/4amEwnmFX48/s1600-h/blogtor-delgado.jpg) of Roger Delgado wearing a hat.

When the Master walked in wearing a suit and tie and a slightly over-sized pork pie hat, the Doctor couldn't say he was surprised. True, he was in his laboratory at his work table, supposedly in the depths of UNIT security, but the Master could go a long way on a suit and a smooth tone of voice. Yates was probably smiling to himself about the nice Frenchman named M. Aster or some such nonsense.

In any case, since the Doctor wasn't at all surprised and since the Master had done nothing to deserve his attention, he continued on with his work. The fact that being ignored generally made the Master annoyed was only a fortunate side-effect, and not at all calculated.

"How are you, my dear?" asked the Master, taking off his coat and putting it over his arm. Playing at domesticity.

"Fine," said the Doctor. "What can you want?"

"Only the pleasure of your company." The Master circled around the table, drawing nearer to the Doctor. The Doctor refused to follow him by turning his head, and so redirected his gaze at the circuit he was assembling.

The brim of the Master's hat poked into the back of the Doctor's head, making him drop a wire. He swore quietly, still trying to ignore the Master at his back.

"Actually,I could use your help with something," said the Master. "Just a little thing."

The Doctor sighed, and put down the circuit altogether. He couldn't work under these conditions.

"Is it anything to do with the alien you have hidden beneath your hat?"

"No - I mean, I don't know what you're talking about." The Master gazed up at the Doctor coolly, but a smile was just visible at the corners of his lips. "I just need the use of a few pieces of equipment."

"No doubt in order to signal in an invasion force so that you can later tell me it was partly my fault. Don't be ridiculous, man." The Doctor raised an eyebrow, but the Master countered with two, making him look almost innocent.

"Doctor, there is nothing under my hat except my head and my hair."

The Doctor stared him down, then slowly raised an arm and knocked the blasted thing off the Master's head. The miniaturized Zygon thus revealed squeaked and started to run before the Doctor grabbed it.

"My, where did that come from?" The Master had the temerity to play the wronged party even now. "I hadn't even realized it was there."

"Oh no?" asked the Doctor, determined to have the last word. "You should always check your hats before you put them on. Anything might be in there - lint, lice, expansionist aliens."

"I defer to your wisdom," said the Master, cheerfully. "Now, about that equipment?"

The Doctor sighed, and put the still-squawking Zygon into a beaker. The Master wandered off to play with the spectroscope, for some reason. After a moment, the Doctor picked up the fallen and slightly dented pork pie hat, and put it on his own head. It fit perfectly.

It was also, as he discovered a moment later, a portal device for a whole army of shrunken Zygons. Not too difficult to deal with, but they took ages to get out of his hair.


End file.
